Tales of Schwegman - Minnesota Fats

Tales of Schwegman - Minnesota Fats

I keep meeting the phantom hospital supply salesman Harry Schwegman in the best of places.  The first was The Office, the pool table tavern in Palatine where all the best sticks in the Chicago suburbs go to play - eight ball, straight in, no slop, nine-ball, money's call.

It was Christmas Day, 1999. We get to talking and Harry's resume is full of incredibly successful stories: lettered at ASU in football, basketball and baseball.  Shot 29 on the back nine of Phoenix Country Club (after 46 on the front - 75 the hard way, making a bogey along the way), and amateur youth pool champion of the state of Arizona, which qualified him to do a tour with Minnesota fats, around to predesignated locations, where Harry even won a few games.  But after all was said and done, Fats says to Harry, "Okay Harry, now we're gonna go shoot some pool."

So the limo stops in the middle of nowhere AZ, and there ain't nobody there; just Fats and Harry, the Limo driver, and the bar tender.  Now, Fats gets his dig in: "After you miss your first shot, I'm gonna run the table, banking everything."

Harry makes a ball on the break, makes three more, then misses. Fats runs the table, folds up his cue and says, "You shoot good pool kid. Now, stay in school."

Harry, having an independent mind, and no brains whatsoever (as if any of us ever did at age 20) drives into California with $5,000.  And ends up deposited at the CA / AZ border with nada, not even his pool cue.

Shoulda listened to the Fats Man.

But, there's more.

Be well, enjoy the holidays, and Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow.